Friday, December 30, 2011

有史以来最糟糕的火车车程 The Worst Train Ride Ever

So after my trip to Half Moon Hill in Guilin, I realized it was getting kind of late and starting heading back to Yangshuo.  I passed the extra-friendly Chinese girls, and some beautiful scenery, pollution spewing trucks, and old men sitting on chairs with their shirts rolled up (which anyone who's visited China will know is probs the most common thing occur... on the planet).

Anyways, got back to my hotel and turned in the bike, picked up by duffel back, suitcase, packpack and pillow... wait no, just my backpack probably.  I think I left my suitcase and duffel bag and probably pillow back at my hostel in Guilin.  Ah, yes, this comes in later in the story.

SO. I picked up my backpack and asked the receptionist how to get to the bus to take me back to Guilin.  I found my way there in about 5 minutes and hopped on.  I was the only one on the bus and got a little nervous that it wasn't the right one, but after a good 10 - 15 minutes it had filled up with a few more tourists and I (semi)-confirmed in my broken Chinese that it was going to Guilin.

We finally pulled out of Yangshuo sometime in the late afternoon 5 or 6 o'clock?

[Background note] I had purchased one of the few remaining seats on the train fro Guilin to Beijing leaving that Friday night earlier in the week when I was still in Guilin.  I believe the train was supposed to leave around 7pm ish.

So when we left Yangshuo on the way back to Guilin, I had about ... an hour and a half to two hours to make my train.  I was told that the bus ride takes 45min-1hour.  So I wasn't panicking yet.

But instead of driving straight to Guilin, the bus driver would stop at every population center (and this is China so pretty much everything is a population center) and try and convince people to get on the bus, basically to pad his own salary (the people paid him directly in cash as I remember).

And so this 45min ride turned into an hour ride.

The closer we got to Guilin, the more nervous I got b/c time was running out.

As we got to Guilin, traffic was horrendous (as it usually is a rush hour, which I'd never experienced).  And so when we got into the city, I had about 15 minutes to make my train.
Good news: the bus stopped right across the street from the train station.
Bad news: My suitcase and pillow and duffel were still at the hostel.  Effffff.

So I hailed a taxi, told him to take me to the hostel, and back.  We made relatively good time.
But needless to say, by the time I got back to the train station, the train had left about 5 or 10 minutes earlier.

And so, I was directed to several different people who were distinctly unhelpful (either deliberately, accidentally, or b/c I couldn't understand a thing they said).  One person was useful enough that I understood I needed to go to the ticket lines and try and get a ticket for the train the next day.  (Luckily I had kind of built a buffer day into my schedule so that I wasn't super screwed... see! I'm not completely retarded).

So I find the ticket line place.
OH-EM-GEE.
20 lines. 100 people in each line. All Chinese. No air condition. No fans. Not even enclosed actually.  The temperature outside is 90 degrees and humidity is 100%.  Very little exaggeration.

So I stood in one line for a while (deflecting looks of amusement, confusion, and hostility by my Chinese fellow-line-men) until I was informed or realized (can't remember exactly) that I needed to be in another line.  So I got in that line and stood there for probs 30-45minutes.  Teh lame.

When I finally got the ticket spot and presented the lady with my ticket, we were so mutually incomprehensible (she spoke NO English, and I couldn't understand anything she said in Chinese) that she resorted to a 40 page (FORTY PAGES!) booklet of useful Chinese-to-English phrases.

After rifling through this booklet for a good 5 minutes, she found 2 she liked and pointed them out to me through the glass (think movie theater ticket line).

They said:
"You have missed you train" (oh why thank you.  how informative)
and
"Because you have missed you train, your ticket is void.  We are not able to give you a new seat."
(ohhhhhhhh eff)

She then motioned for me to giver her my ticket.  And I was trying to figure out in my head if I had enough money to buy a new one for the next day.  Then she asked "what time do you want to leave tomorrow?" Luckily my surprise and confusion was delayed enough for me to tell her I wanted to leave sometime in the afternoon (b/c I'd already figured that out).  And so I while I was busy being confused, she printed out a ticket and slipped it under the glass to me (again, a la movie theaters).  This of course only added to my confusion, but I had a ticket in my hand and she indicated that she was done with me so I scurried away to collect my bags (and pillow) and slump into the humid evening to scrounge up a taxi.

It was surprisingly difficult to get a taxi considering that I was at a train station, and I finally secure one with the help of some high school girls who could understand my English well enough but couldn't speak it back to me, but could (obviously) speak Chinese well enough to tell the taxi driver that I wanted a ride (I can't remember exactly why this was necessary, I just remember he was kind of a pain).

So I finally got back to my hostel and booked another night.  As I was preparing to take my stuff up to my room, I mentioned my ticket to the reception girl and she took a look at it.

"Oh they've just giving you a standing ticket for tomorrow"
"A.. huh?"
"You don't have an assigned seat"
"Oh so I just have to find one?"
"Oh no. It'll be standing room only"
*siiiiiiiiiiiggggggggggggghhhhhhhhh*
I was the proud owner of a standing room only ticket on what was going to be a 27 (TWENTY-SEVEN) hour long train ride.  From 1pm Saturday to 4pm Sunday. Skank My Life.

I managed to make some friendly acquaintances with my roommates that night and then slept.

Woke up in the morning... DEF did not feel like P-Diddy. lol

But I left with plenty of time to make my train and sat in the train terminal for a long while.  Which was quite nerve racking as their training waiting/arriving/boarding system and signage is not terribly intuitive.  And their occasional English announcements where often indecipherable.

Finally, the train came a good 15 minutes late.  !!! If my original train had been late, I wouldn't be in this situation. gargh.

I found my car and piled in.  Boy was I out of place.

I had 3 times as much luggage as the average passenger and no place to put it.  And when they said "standing room only" it is quite literal.  All of the seats were full.  And then the entire aisle of the car was full and people stuff/squated/laid down at the ends of the cars in the little space connecting the 2 trains and in front of the bathrooms.  Before I could be terribly overwhelmed by the entirely dismal situation before me, off we went.

After a few minutes of wondering whether I might kill myself in the next 27 hours, I managed to rearrange my luggage so that I was sitting on my duffel bag next to my suitcase which was much better than standing up next to m duffel bag and suitcase.

My initial pride at being so problem-solvy and happiness at being relatively comfortable quickly evaporated when I realized that short Chinese people needed to get by me about once every 3-5 minutes and that would require me to get up and let them by.    

Luckily I had my iPod and put on some music to distract from my hopeless plight.  This situation (iPod+sitting on duffel bag +getting up every 3-5 minutes) lasted for hours.  Well past sunset and into the early night.

Sometime around 9pm (I believe) a girl stopped to talk to me.

[Note] I was practically across from the hot water spigot which was used by everyone and their Chinese uncle to make their prepackaged-Ramen-in-a-tub dinners and so people were coming and going all the time.

But one college-aged girl said Hi to me, and then proceeded to be really weird.  Like so:

Hi!
Hi.
Are you coming from America?
Yes, I'm American.
What are you doing here in China?
I'll be in Beijing for 6 weeks learning Chinese.
Oh really?! This is great. We love when foreign people learn out language.
... yeah, its cool. (I was in no mood to be a live, let alone have an awkward conversation)

What are you listening to?
...music.
Oh is it American music?
Uh... yes.
Can I listen?
*oh dear*  uhhh sure. *shares iPod earbud*

I don't remember what I was listening to, but judging by the contents of my iPod, it was probably classical music, Enya, film scores, Malagasy music, or a few pop songs (think Ke$ha, Bieber, and Gaga :)

So she listened to my music for a while.  Much longer than I wanted her to (which would've been zero seconds) and much longer than would've been culturally acceptable in America even if I were in a really good mood and this were someone I hadn't just met 3 seconds ago, and to whom I had suggested to listen to my music.

After a while though she took out the earbud and tried to talk to me again:

So you are in college?
Yeah.
So what do you learn in the college?
... civil engineering.
Oh this is interesting.

This is where I suddenly feel really guilty and like a terrible person

Why do you have been standing here always?
... I missed my trained yesterday so I only have a standing room ticket.
Oh! I'm sorry. Are you tired?
Yeah.
Where you are going to?
Beijing.
Oh that is very far away.
Yes.
Do you want to sit down?
Huh?
My friends could find make room for you to seat.
Really?!
Yes I think we can. You should not be standing so long time.
Uh wow. thats really nice. That'd be awesome.
Come with me.

HOLY OH MY GOSH YOU ARE AN ANGEL FROM HEAVEN


So she led me to the middle of the car and her college aged friends (as were most of the people on the train) scooted over and gave me a spot on the seat.  This was by no means "comfortable" in any non-relative sense of the word, but it was light years ahead of my previous situation.

I entertained these college kiddies with my English, thoughts, and opinions.
They even offered me some of their fruit they had brought (Dragon fruit! cool).
At some point I went and made my own ramen-bucket and then tried to settle in the for the night...
on the edge of a slightly padded chair, with the lights blazing, and on a bouncy/swaying train.

Oh dear.

Luckily the night didnt last forever, and eventually the desire for sleep faded away.

We continued to pass the relatively non-descript scenery of central eastern China - seriously the scenery during this trip was pretty boring.

FriendlyGirl eventually got off the train and finally after a few more hours I was in Beijing!

When we finally got to the capital city, I was elated.  No more being trapped on the death train!

I got out and lugged lugged lugged my luggage over to the taxi-waiting-line which was quite long.
(Don't forget that my actual suitcase is like 40 pounds and completely non-functioning.  No wheels, just busted stubs of plastic)

Got in a taxi and told him where to go. Oh boyyy here we go again.

We were headed to Beijing University.  Which is THE most prestigious university in China.  It's pretty much the Harvard of China (or Princeton or Yale if you're so disposed).  Granted, Beijing is an enormous city both population and surface area wise.  But this guy seriously had no clue.  Once I got my bearings I was giving him directions.
But while I had a general sense of spatial awareness, I didn't know where the West Gate of B.U. was (other than that it was on the west side of the campus... a concept foreign to Mr. TaxiDriver) So I called the program coodinator, who was super awesome.  And she explained to him SEVERAL times in fluent Mandarin (she's only lived outside of China for like 5 years?).  Still, major hassle.  lol
Eventually, finally we get to the Shaoyun guest hotel on campus where Jessy (coordinator lady) comes out of the door and says
"Oh hi, you must be Addison!"
*super impressed*  ("she knows my name and she's never even seen me!")

She paid the taxi driver (which was a relief to me b/c I didn't have the money to spend on his incompetence in getting me to B.U) and I checked into the hotel/program.

I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there
I could sit on my throne, as the Prince of Bel Air.

errrrr I mean, I was finally in Beijing in a place I could call home for 6 weeks!  Hooray!

Somehow, I had managed to survive it all.

Now it was time for the craziest small world story, EVER. (I mean like for serious.)
Next time on Around the World in 85 Days! dun dun dun...



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