Crazy Sunday

Sunday June 24^th, 2012

Today was fun.  Kinda.

Set my alarm for 6:30am, and was expecting to out the door by 7:30 to give me an 1 ½ hours to get to church in Sab-Nam (SabotsyNamehana), where E. Bergera is training E. Marsh, both of whom I taught in the MTC.  So the alarm definitely went off at 6:30, and another one at 6:35.  And then I definitely woke up at… 9:22, roughly 3 hours later.  Ruhroh.  So, I quickly went downstairs to take a shower, and just as quickly realized that even though I checked with Lea the night before to make sure there would be hot water, alas, there was none.  But being a man, I sucked it up and took a freezing cold squatting***shower Like, my-skin-is-burning freezing. So there’s that.

***(squatting b/c there’s not shower curtain so if I stand up water goes everywhere.  Even squatting in the tub, water still goes everywhere, maybe I’m just incompetent). 

Finally got out the door and all that jazz by 10ish (looking back I’m not sure what took so long, but I’m generally slow in the mornings, so not too surprised).  Took a taxi to Analamahitsy to save time (which it did), and then got on a bus to Sab-Nam.  Then about 20 minutes later, I realized it wasn’t quite the bus I needed (didn’t go as far into Sab-Nam as I hoped).  So I got off the bus and was directed by a couple Malagasies to get another bus, which I was told I could find on the other side of this market.

Adventure time:

So I started into the market, which as you (if you know anything about Madagascar) can imagine included lots of rotting meat hanging on hooks, dried fish, live chickens, ducks, and geese, and of course a large and varied assortment of fruits and vegetables upon which at any moment may rest several hundred… trillion flies. So I exaggerate… a little. The point is that this market was no tiny 10 stall market, this one was actually quite large, and so I wandered through it for a good 5 minutes before I finally started asking people about the bus, and found out I was actually going generally in the right direction.  Five minutes later, I emerged from the scented cacophony into a dirt-ish road, confirmed I was still going in the right direction, and continued walking. 

I was distracted for about 5 minutes when I saw a phone charger for sale (and I had lost my phone charger the day before, so I kind of needed one…yes it was Sunday, don’t judge.) and bought it for 3,000Ar ($1.5).  Five minutes included seeing one, asking about it, walking 100 feet to get it tested out, finding out it didn’t work, and buying one from the stand where we tested out the first one.  Felt bad for the first guy cuz I don’t know if he made any money, but hey his charger didn’t actually work so… *sad face*. 

Anywho, kept walking and occasionally asking if I was headed towards this elusive bus and was continually told yes.  At one point, after walking for about 15 minutes, I was informed I was already in the section of “town” to which I was supposed to take the bus and so I switched my inquiry from “does H-Bus which goes to Tsarafara pass by here?” to “do you know where the church is where 2 white guys like me pray?” which was relatively successful.  I kept following the pointed fingers, until HOLY HALELUJAH the freaking H-Bus finally rumbled past me, a good 20 minutes into my walk.  So I flagged it down, confirmed it was the right bus, and hopped aboard.  An extensive 75 seconds later I was informed we were at my stop, and that I could get off.  I could just barely see the place where I got on the bus.  Oh well, 10 cents had saved me 3 minutes of walking and made sure I knew when to turn down a certain dirt road.  So turn I did and finally found the church at about 11… 10?  A little after 11am, right as Sunday School was starting.  

There were a million cars in the driveway so I was kind of afraid that some big deal was going down and that I’d be interrupting President Donnelly, but luckily it was just Branch Conference in a Stake where I literally know almost every person with a Stake calling haha.  So I poked my head in SS room to catch the attention of the missionaries, which was of course priceless.  First Bergera saw me, took him a good 5 seconds of looking at me to figure out who I was (I hadn’t shaved since Tuesday when I left).  Finally his face kind of lit up, and then I tried catching Marsh’ attention who was equally hilarious because he seemed even more confused and the kind of like “what the heck?!”.  So I motioned to them and they both came over to the door and I said hi to them outside.  They were like “Brother Jenkins! Wait… what the freak are you doing in Madagascar?!” Oh ya know, just stopping by.  By “said Hi” I mean I talked to them for a few minutes, and then Fr. Leon (stake calling from another ward I know) poked his head around and said Hi.  Then I talked to Bergera and Marsh for a bit, then another member I knew said Hi, and then more chatting, and then more members.  In between all this I called O’Day and talked to him a bit about my projects and his projects and when we could meet and etc.  And all of this went on for about an hour.  There were literally over a dozen members I knew from different wards at this Branch I had never even been to haha. 

We went back in for the last few minutes of SS which was a discussion by the Stake President about how the branch could become a ward and how many members and priesthood holders they need, etc etc.  And then once church was over, I ended up talking to everyone again and the missionaries for another hour.  And then it was time to go, so I headed off with the missionaries to teach some times.  

The first lady had to go to work though, so that didn’t happen.  Then the second lady was a recent convert who was… hilarious.  And by hilarious, I mean that if she spoke English she would be extremely racist and incredibly rude, but because she’s Malagasy she’s hilarious.  

Here’s a sampling of our conversation:

Her: “Yeah this kid here (indicating Bergera), he doesn’t talk much.  Raoilison talked a lot (Gino Raoilison  was the missionary Marsh replaced).  But he better start talking.  Everyone loved Raoilison because he talked a lot.  But people also thought he was a total femmy.  I mean all the girls loved him, because he’s kind of girly.  Even Grandma Therese was like “yeah, he’s a little girl”.  

Also this: “Yeah your eyes are kind of mean (talking about Marsh, who has blue eyes).  They scared my son away.  Like this guy’s (Bergera, dark eyes) eyes aren’t too bad, and he’s kind of dark (tan) too. He’s almost Malagasy. But you’re pretty white.  You don’t talk much either though.  Why don’t you say anything? But the girls will like that.  My son is really shy and doesn’t talk much, but the girls from school totally love him – they chase him all the time.  But this guys eyes (talking about Bergera) they’re kind of like Bruce Lee’s. “

Me: “Who?”

Her: “Bruce Lee, the karate film guy.”

Me: “Oh like Jackie Chan, Bruce Lee…”

Her: “Yeah, but not like Jackie Chan.  His eyes are way too Chinese.  They’re really small and squinty.  I think they look ugly.  No, Bruce Lee, his eyes are not too squinty, so they’re still all right.”

And this: “Y’all better start working hard (talking to the missionaries).  If you don’t work hard all the kids around here are going to join the Satanic Club.  There was a girl walking home the other day by those tombs up there*** and some of those Satan Club kids knocked her out and someone found her on the road unconscious and she couldn’t remember anything, so they took her to the doctor.”

***Cultural Note: Malagasies who live central part of the country (highest elevations) belong to tribes who bury their dead in semi-subterranean tombs.  While most current tombs are built out in the boonies, there are tons of tombs still in the cities.  It’s totally normal to see tombs next to roads and people’s houses, and people walk past them all the time.   

Me: “Wait so how do you know about this Satanic Club?”

Her: “Oh a kid at the school I teach at gave me this! [Pulls off photocopied typed up page of what is essentially a long WARNING note that says some Satan Club is making the rounds and watch out or it’ll gitya! About as legit looking as one of those obnoxious “forward this and all your dreams will come true” chain emails].  Yeah there was one in Antsirabe [as the note indicates] and now its come to Sab-Nam! Y’all better work hard or all our kids are gonna join the Satan Club.  There are kids already hanging out by those tombs all the time!”

I attempted to suppress a chuckle and a broad grin, not sure how well I did.   

And finally this: “Yeah you better starting talking (to the missionaries) or no one is gonna join the church.  But this one (indicating Marsh) you know, [turns to him] you’re pretty handsome.  I bet all the girls will love you.  [Turns to me] So are you gonna marry a Malagasy girl?”

Me: “No…”

Her: “What! Why not?! What do you hate Malagasies or something?!”

Me: “No! no! I just… it ruins missionary work…”

Her: “Well you should marry one anyways.  Why don’t you Americans ever marry Malagasies?  Like British people, they marry Malagasies all the time, but you Americans, I don’t think you like Malagasies.”

Me: “I mean I like Malagasies I just…”

Her: “No y’all don’t like Malagasies.  You’ll marry Phillipinos, but not Malagasies.  And we’re practically the same.  They’re kind of dark like us, and they’re kind of Asian looking like us.  If you marry Phillipinos why don’t you marry Malagasies?”

Me (finally giving up and resorting to blatant lies): “Well I actually have a girlfriend back in the US so…”

Her: “Oh, I see.” [Whatsmost hilarious here is that her “Americans marry Phillipinos” things is based on ONE anecdote of a missionary who used to work in the area, who has a brother who married a Philipino girl, lol]. 

So after this lovely visit, we left, but ended up stopping in the empty lot next door to take some pictures.  When we were finally done, the neighbor lady actually came around to ask if the missionaries could pray for someone, and I was already late to go meet O’Day, so I let them deal with the potential investigator/potentially awkward/crazy situation and started walking.  Finally found a taxi a good 10-15 minutes later, talked him down to 15,000Ar to get into town (he started at 25,000 and I was hoping for 12,000).  

Got to O’Day half an hour later and met Lacee his friend/business partner who’s here in Madagascar for 3 months setting up stuff for a business that his non-profit (Madagascar Cooperative Foundation) and our non-profit (Small Candles) are/about to be co-owners of, called The Village Store.  We also talked about his other business TranoMirary which is an affordable housing company he started. 

Elder Slater and ELDER Safidy (I forgot his Malagasy last name… Ramiarimanana?)stopped by which was cool to say Hi and talk to them again.  (E. Slater was AP when I was here last year so I got to know him a bit then, and Safidy was a mini several times while I was a missionary so that’s how I know him). 

We set up some plans for later in the week to do some filming and meetings and it was getting late so they went back to Ampitatafika and I went back ‘home’ to Soavinandriana which is close(ish) to the center of town) in a ward called Anjanahary. 

Made myself some bread with Laughing Cow Cheese (doesn’t need refrigeration) and had a juice box (cute, huh?) and had a Bounty Bar (!!! Like an almond-less Almond Joy, but somehow wayyy better).  Yep that was dinner. 

Alright, that was my day.  Rating: Fairly successful.